Scardy Cat Wanna Be Brave Face V.S. the Invisible Hole Digging Creature

I was ready for a showdown of epic proportions. Oh what a movie I could have made. There I was standing with the hose in one hand and a stick in another. Prepared with my good running shoes and a girly scream waiting on the edge of my voice......

Are you sitting on the edge of your seat yet? I guess I should give you some back ground information before I continue. For close to 4 months now I have been noticing small, almost perfectly round holes in the dirt next to the side of my house. Now these weren’t ordinary holes they were holes what were surrounded by A LOT of loose rock and dirt. So being the girl I am I kept telling my loving husband that I thought we had something burrowing in the ground and he needed to go take care of it. My deepest darkest fears of some snake ridden den lurking under my house kept surfacing in my mind. Well the days went by, then weeks went by, the holes remained and my fears grew. I kept thinking about those stinking holes and what hideous things lying in wait to come out to get me. I grew to fear taking the garbage out at night and kept giving excuses to get out of dragging the can to the curb (that is the husband’s job, right?).

After waiting and waiting and waiting for something to be done I decided to consult the all mighty know everything oracle I call the Internet, and do you know what I found? NOTHING!!! Ok I shouldn't say "nothing", I dug and I dug and I dug throwing in every sequence of words that I could think of to find what sort of hideous mutant creature would be creating these voids of dirt in my yard. Finally I found a few posts suggesting that they could be caused by a swarm of ground digging bees, or they could be caused by spiders, and to my fear there was a mention of SNAKES. All of this information freaked me out even more. After months of trying to decided if I had a snake problem I now have spiders and bees to jam into my already nightmarish dreams. Maybe I have some sort of freakish hybrid of snake that has wings and hairy legs. 

I pledged to read on and finally I found a post that suggested flushing out the tunnels. Did I really want to go there? At this point I had three choices I could call the pest guys in and they want $$$$$, I could wait and let the man of the house deal with it, or I could suck it up and stop being such a pansy girl. I can expect that you have figured out which choice I have made by now.

So there I was prepared to do battle with Sniderbee. I carefully snuck up to the largest hole I could find and gently, oh so gently stuck the hose into gaping mouth of darkness that was sure to be my doom. I then raced back behind my fence gate and plastered myself along the wall. Calling on my powers of chameleon like camouflage I tried to blend in with the stucco while keeping my eyes peeled for any ominous movement coming from the lair. With my senses on high I turned the hose on high, feeling a sense of glee that I have been able to sabotage my enemy’s fortress. I broke the cardinal rule I thought the war was won before it was even fought. To my horror as I was starting to smile I watched the hose rise out of the hole and flop on the floor. I had turned the hose on too high too quickly and my sneak attack was being lost before my very eyes. I had to make a decision, do I turn and surrender or do I sacrifice myself for the good of all man kind. I bravely ran in and shoved the hose down into the hole as far as I could.

As I stood I knew something was amiss. I turned to retreat to safety when I saw movement in the corner of my eye.  I froze in fear for a split second as I had a vision of death by Sniderbee. At that precise moment the creature I had been fearing ran straight across my foot, and into the safety of the nearby tree clippings. What had I seen was it Sniderbee, or one of his other more hideous cousins....? To my chagrin he was just a harmless little ground chipmunk. It was with a heavy heart that I took on the sad task of collapsing his tunnels. I could not take the risk of a real Sniderbee moving into his newly vacated luxurious home. The battle was fought and the war was won. I wish my new chipmunk friend the best of luck finding a new home to live in. (just as long as it is not mine) And I abid you ado as I return home victorious and full of pride in my ability to be a Scardy Cat Wanna Be Brave Face.